Why is it always “Dumbledore is my fave” or “Dumbledore is abusive” and never “Dumbledore is so fucking afraid of letting another dark wizard come to power that he channels his own darkness into training a human weapon from childhood to fight the darkness that he knows he can’t while pretending to be the wise wizard mentor that he wishes he actually was wow that is a super fascinating character and we should write all the fanfiction about it?”
there is a clear distinction between gof sirius and ootp sirius so let’s talk about it because it’s all i’ve thought about for days.
in gof, sirius lives in a fucking cave eating rats in order to be near harry during the triwizard tournament. this is a decision that puts sirius in danger — being so close to hogwarts with ministry officials prowling around could easily land him back in azkaban. but here’s the thing: sirius doesn’t choose to live in hogsmeade for a laugh, or for his own personal gratification. he did it to protect harry — in the cave scene, when the trio ask what he’s doing, the first thing he says is “fulfilling my duty as godfather.”
and he is. because throughout gof, sirius gives advice, guidance, and comfort to harry. he tells him not to take unnecessary risks, to stay safe, to focus on getting through the tournament alive. sirius chastises harry after he finds out that he went into the forest with krum, he offers sympathy when harry talks about the fight he has with ron, and also, he lived in a cave and survived on rats just to be close in case harry ran into danger.
consistently throughout gof, sirius is a comforting presence to harry. he is intelligent, protective, and even paternal. this is sirius black at his best.
and sirius black at his best stands in stark contrast to the man we see in ootp: angry, mercurial, moody. reckless. he constantly makes bad, impulsive decisions: seeing the kids off at king’s cross, popping into the gryffindor fire, picking fights with snape. in ootp, sirius causes harry more worry than he assuages — directly conflicting with his goal of fulfilling his duty. not to mention, his treatment of harry, which is in direct opposition to what he displayed in gof: now, he encourages harry, compares him to james, even guilts him — “you’re less like your father than i thought.” that’s a shitty, low thing to say to the boy you’ve sworn to protect.
and all of this is leading up to the crux of the matter: sirius’s obvious illness. he’s depressed, he shows signs of bipolar disorder, he has tendencies toward alcoholism. he’s likely dealing with some form of PTSD after twelve years in azkaban. these things are true of sirius no matter where he is, but in gof, he’s in a healthier state — ironically, given his living conditions.
the trigger for sirius’s behavior in ootp is grimmauld place. it’s imprisonment, it’s being locked up in a house that he loathed, one that he was almost definitely emotionally abused in. it’s being kept from having an active role in the order, it’s being goaded by snape, it’s being stuck and unable to help, all in a place that represents everything he spent his teenage years trying to escape.
hermione consistently points to sirius’s instability, says that she thinks he’s being unwise, and when harry takes it as an insult on his mental state — it isn’t an insult, it’s a correct observation — hermione says that he’s been lonely for a very long time. and she’s right. in ootp, we see the effects of all of this on sirius, and they’re invariably negative in the extreme.
it’s heartbreaking to see the contrast here, because in one book we see the best of sirius: loyal, selfless, protective, and loving. immediately following, we see the worst.
but even at his worst, even amid his own battles with illness coupled with the fucking infuriating things about sirius black, he protects harry. he goes to the ministry to fight because harry is in danger, and he dies protecting harry.
sirius was fucked up but even at his worst, he still fought for harry in the end because there was no way in hell the person he loves more than anything else could be in danger without him there to protect him. he lost his duel with bellatrix because he underestimated her, because he’s prone to losing himself in the thrill of the fight, because he couldn’t resist the temptation to goad someone he loathed.
but he went into the ministry that night to protect harry. he would have done it for james, sirius, remus, peter, or lily at twenty; he would have done it healthy in gof; and he did it as sick as he was in ootp.
in spite of everything that happened to him — and everything intrinsic to him, all the cruelty and grudges he clings to by nature — sirius is a good person.
because there is nothing sirius black would not sacrifice for a person he loves.
I think what the Marauder fandom should explore more is James’ eventual regret of how he acted in the past. I don’t think it would be a constant thing but I have no doubt it would have hit him hard at one point if he had lived to raise Harry.
The first time Harry comes home crying, with broken glasses and a bloody nose because the older boys thought it would be funny to pick on the weird kid who makes odd things happen, James has to wipe away away his son’s tears, hold him and realize it’s not nearly as funny when this stuff is happening to your own child.
And the guilt he must have felt makes my heart hurt but it’s necessary.
how did i even survive back in 2011
long overdo color meme gift #2
- james potter is not a white guy. i’m a big fan of indian james (hello suraj sharma) but all poc james headcanons are wonderful and to be encouraged. just. james potter is not a white dude.
- james was the one who really lead the efforts to find a way to help remus with his lycanthropy and he was the one who realized that animagus transformations were the way to go
- james potter is a douchebag with a heart of gold tbh
- james cried really easily. he felt things incredibly deeply and he cried easily and i love him so much
- cried when lily said “yes.” cried when harry was born. didn’t cry to sirius’s face but after sirius came out to him, later, he cried. same w/ finding out remus was a werewolf. cried every time gryffindor won the cup.
- quidditch was So Important to james like. it wasn’t just the sport itself it was the Spirit of the Team and the Unity and the Family that he got from it omg. he was so passionate and so talented and if the war hadn’t been happening he definitely could’ve gone pro.
- like. oliver wood but even more emotional
- what a loser
- hes the king of my soul
- james loved sirius so much god it’s not even a headcanon. they were True Best Friends and each other’s other half and they just. loved each other so much this isn’t even a headcanon i’m just emotional im sorry
- james planned an Elaborate and Romantic proposal that failed Spectacularly and ended with lily laughing and saying “hey loser do you want to marry me?”
- my son
Sirius buys chocolate scented shampoo.
Remus tries to eat his hair in his sleep.
Sirius switches to chocolate scented soap instead.
He decides that has much better results.
do you think that when fred and george started hogwarts all the teachers were like “ahh more weasleys. lovely. their brothers were such good students i’m sure they’ll be just the same.” and then the twins walked into their first class and just SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKERS
I live for a damaged, 16 year old Sirius Black, towering over Mrs Potter, a little nervous around her at first but, when he finds how kind she is to him, loving her like a mother.
- Mrs Potter not being able to keep a straight face when telling Sirius off because he is such a DOOF, and also because he has mastered the ‘puppy dog face’.
- Sirius having to bend to hug her.
- Sirius feeling so protective of this little old lady who has decided to take him in her care.
- Sirius hanging around in the kitchen when she’s cooking, wanting to help.
- Mrs Potter surprised to see he’s actually good at it, and soon he’s wearing an apron and making cauldron cakes while talking to her about girls and life and how NOTHING works on James’s hair, does it?
- James joins them one day but ends up setting things on fire, and Sirius is so exasperated, Mrs Potter can’t help but laugh at the look on his face.
- Sirius and Mrs Potter teasing James about Lily until his face is flaming red.
- Sirius bending down for her to kiss him on the cheek, like she does with James, when she drops them off at Kings Cross.
- Sirius writing her letters from Hogwarts, describing the latest thrilling quidditch match in great detail.
- Sirius and James receiving parcels full of sweets by owl post.
- Sirius feeling completely overwhelmed by this, because it’s like he finally has a mother, and no one from his family had ever sent him anything nice ever.
- When James starts dating Lily, Sirius writes sorrowful letters to Mrs Potter complaining about how James hardly EVER spends time with him anymore and he’s happy for him and everything but he feels so IGNORED.
- Mrs Potter reading these in great amusement.
- Sirius being an obstinate little shit, not listening to anyone and generally living by his own rules EXCEPT when its Mrs Potter telling him what to do.
- Then he does it quietly and obediently.
Just. SIRIUS BLACK AND MRS POTTER.
Sirius Black and Remus Lupin, shipping Jily since 1976
Earlier today Laura Chernikoff made this tweet
Which prompted this conversation
And that got me interested in working out what the demographics have been for the Special Guests (as listed on their websites) of the past four major YouTube events. I feel like we’re all generally aware that women and people of color are underrepresented at these things, but when you look at the numbers it becomes embarrassingly clear how ridiculous this disparity is.
The highest percentage of female Special Guests at any of these events was 32% at Summer in the City. LESS THAN 1/3.
The highest percentage of Special Guests of color* at any of these events is 16% at the current Buffer Festival. LESS THAN 1/6. (And SitC only had ONE PoC on their Special Guest list this year, which is fucking absurd.)
I don’t want to rant about this too much, I just sort of want to make these numbers known because I find them maddening. And if you guys do too, I encourage you to message the organizers of these events, let them know your thoughts, and maybe recommend them some of the incredible prominent women and PoC we have in this community.
- Playlist Live: http://www.playlist-live.com/contact/
- VidCon: firstname.lastname@example.org
- Summer in the City: email@example.com
- Buffer Festival: firstname.lastname@example.org (Corey contacted me not too long ago about female representation at Buffer and I gave him a ton of names, but I don’t know if he had time to take any of those suggestions on board in time for the event. Hopefully it’s something he and the team are genuinely serious about and that next year will be better on that).
C’mon YouTube events. I love you, but you seriously need to get your shit together.
*Note that my count is based primarily on looks and the people whose races I know for sure. If I made a mistake and missed anyone who’s white passing, let me know.
in case you had any doubts.
i had such big plans for this sketch but in the end i got so sick of it that i just went the lazy/stupid route so that i could lay it to rest. i’m sorryyyyy. orz i’ll post quality someday.
quick sketch of Teddy Lupin - strongly influenced by burdge’s design
Every time I see these clips I feel like it’s an alternate universe where Draco was always friends with Harry and Ron and they’re going to Hogsmeade on weekends together.
Having a butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks, and gorging on Honeydukes sweets… being snarky and bantery and genuinely fond of each other. And Hermione would be tsking all “Boys!” when they loudly disparage each other from their brooms on the Quidditch pitch.
"Slytherin is going down, Malfoy!"
"When you can actually stay on your broom, Weasley, I’ll take your advice seriously."